Try, Try Again

Here I am.

Yep. I'm back.

Trying once more to get this blog thing back and running.

As a New Years resolution, I have started writing in my journal once a week. No, I did not set a New Years resolution to also blog once a week. Lesbehonest. That would be AWFULLY annoying. But I do think this is yet another fun way to document my life. SO! Let's give it one more shot. And aim for once a month for now. Once a month sounds...manageable.

Where oh where to begin. When I last blogged I wasn't yet a cop. I was just a wee little cadet! Now look at me! I'll grown up with a badge on my chest.

Police work is hard.

It is so hard.

And not even the work. As one of my trainers said, "A chimp could do this job...and some people at the department ARE chimps!" But it's the challenge of becoming a "cop." It's a totally different mindset then I have ever had to use in my whole life. It's mentally exhausting. Do I want to quit?

Absolutely not.

This job is the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. I am not going to lie and say I have loved every second of it, because I haven't. There are days that I come home and wonder if I made the right decision. I ugly cry and listen to Taylor Swift and feel sad. But not because I want to quit. I wonder if I made the right decision because I wonder if this is the job for me. Can Katie Dunn...little Katie Dunn...really be that big tough cop.

YES I CAN!!

And I think at this point, I am the one that needs to believe that. I am not exactly in a position I want to be at the police department right now. I won't go in to details. (Sorry for all you curious readers. Call me if you want to.) BUT! I am grateful I have a job. I am grateful every day that I get to learn and grow into this job that I have always dreamed of doing. Sometimes When I put my vest on, pin my badge on my shirt, and put my gun in my holster I go, "holy crap...this is for reals!" I have been involved in some crazy shiz! Crazy scary, crazy fun, crazy crazy, whatever you want to call it, and I love it. But it's hard. Hard seems like a common word in these few paragraphs.

I never thought that it would be as challenging as it is. I thought if I wanted something bad enough, it would come easy. Boy oh boy was I wrong! I want this job SO bad. I want to be the best cop in the whole world. But just because I want it doesn't mean I get it...right away. Work work work. That's what I'm doing. And that's what I'm going to keep doing!

Sometimes I get frustrated. Frustrated because I asked Heavenly Father if I should do this job, and I felt like I should, and then I go and have struggles like nothing I have ever had to struggle though in my life. My heart is so broken because this career is not going like I thought it would. But that's when faith is tested the most. When we are sad and broken. I have prayed, fasted, received blessings, and still, I'm at a point I do not want to be at. But one thing I do know is that Heavenly Father loves me. He got me through that awful academy and all 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 push ups I had to do, and he will get me through this little road bump. We came to this earth knowing we would be tried and tested. This is just a lot more trying and testing then I thought I would get at once.

I've had the following quote up on my wall to remind me of one thing -

"So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then choose to be happy about circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment...We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude."

Thomas S. Monson

That's my feel good quote. My "yes this sucks, but have a good attitude and it will suck less" quote. Attitude changes it all. I don't share my situation for pity. Like I mentioned above, I'm doing this to document my life! This is a time I am sure I will not forget, but just in case, I want to remind myself that so far, I'm getting through it!

In other news...Phil and I are home and dog owners!! We love it. We are so happy with where we are together right now. 

Our two little babies, Koda and Shirley, are the best. Koda came to us through some friends that couldn't keep him anymore. He's psycho. He is absolutely the most psychotic dog I have ever met in my whole life. He loves everyone. We go to the dog park and he is has to greet all the dogs and then go around and greet all the people. And jump on them and lick their faces and sniff their crotch. It's embarrassing. But he's wicked smart and will kiss you into a good mood. Or kiss you into frustration. Either one. This boy could play all day long if we would let him. He is like a baby and once he starts to get tired he just gets more psycho, then he will just crash. He sheds. A lot. It's not fun. But he's cute so I guess it's ok.

Shirley is a rescue dog and we love our Shirley. She is the most shy dog on the planet. She is completely opposite of Koda. We got her as a chew toy for Koda, and we are at a point now that if we had to get rid of one it would be Koda because we love Shirley so much! She is a hound dog so she just sleeps all day, but I can also take her for runs and she does great! She has the cutest little face. She doesn't give kisses, instead she just sniffs your face for a solid 10 seconds. She snores. She has big floppy ears, and she is finally getting house trained. We love her.

Our house is great. We are in a nice, quiet neighborhood in West Jordan. It's just down the street from my old middle school! It's kind of strange to be back in my "stomping grounds," but when we prayed about moving here we felt that it was right, and now that we are here we know this is exactly where we are supposed to be! We love it. Except the ugly box pond that the previous owners have in the back. I hate that. It's going away this summer.

Phil is working hard at his company and also is the head coach for Herriman lacrosse. He also is in a country band! Look at my stud muffin of a guy! He is amazing and supportive and puts up with me and my two crazy pups, so he's worth keeping around!

Life is good my friends. It's hard, but it's good. I am grateful for trials. I am grateful for all my blessings. Keep on keepin' on. Until next time...

-KTD